Reclaim Inner Authority
Dismantling the toxic workplace in our heads.
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Survival Tool #35: Reclaim Your Inner Authority
It might only be years after we’ve left our toxic workplace that we realise how much of ourselves we’d had to sacrifice to stay as long as we did.
Perhaps it was our creativity we squashed — because for the products to be made, or the services rendered, our artistry wasn’t required.
Perhaps it was our wisdom — because the authoritarian managers either couldn’t recognise the knowing we carried, or saw our insights as a threat if they did.
Perhaps it was our empathy — because there was an unspoken agreement that everyone should pretend their inner lives don’t count. (The exception being corporate-sanctioned Mental Health Awareness Week, when healthy distress at the crises erupting all around us was pathologised as an anomaly to correct).
Perhaps it was our conscience — because we knew our company was part of the problem, but we told ourselves we needed the monthly cheque.
Perhaps it was our care — because to tend to the suffering experienced by so many of our colleagues would have been too much to bear.
There are endless variations on this theme, but in each case, the choice to stay in our toxic workplace has disconnected us from core elements of who we are.
This tendency has become so ubiquitous that it passes as normal.
It is also insane.
Reclaiming, Restoring and Remembering
Like any process of recovery, the first step lies in an honest assessment of the depth of the harm.
We must ask ourselves, honestly, what parts of ourselves have we given away?
Where have we been assimilated into a culture whose values we don’t share?
How have we been instrumentalised towards ends we don’t endorse?
And to what extent have we confused the persona we adopt at work for who we actually are?
Here, the concept of “Inner Authority” can help.
The meaning of the term should be self-evident.
But it’s the energy underneath the words that I invite us to feel now, together.
Take a moment to really savour the flavour:
Inner Authority.
Doesn’t it make you want to breathe a little deeper?
Walk a little taller?
Inner Authority.
Yes!
Be ready, though:
As we begin to rebuild our relationship with our Inner Authority, we may also need to grieve how easily, and for how long, we gave it away.
Let the feelings come.
The invisible architecture of the toxic workplace inside our heads took a lifetime of enculturation to build; we cannot dismantle it in a day.
With practice, following your Inner Authority becomes our natural move.
As the connection strengthens, doors that were previously hidden begin to open.
Opportunities arise.
And Life starts to flow.
Summary
We shut down precious parts of ourselves to survive in our toxic workplaces. By finding the courage to reclaim our Inner Authority, we can move back into alignment with who we really are, and restore our connection with what had once been lost.
The Resonant Man
and I are launching weekly men’s circles as the backbone of our Resonant Man initiative, starting on Sunday, November 7. Details here. 
I consult on surviving toxic workplaces; and can also help you navigate your toxic workplace via the Tarot. Click here to inquire:
I write Toxic Workplace Survival Guy during my spare time from working as an editor at nonprofit climate news service DeSmog (a model workplace). Subscribing, sharing, liking, commenting or buying me a coffee helps make this project sustainable. Thank you!
This was a potent reminder - thank you, Matthew. I have lived for so long with dysfunction, mismanagement and inequality in the workplace (a prestigious NIH-funded science facility) that I no longer recognize what a normal professional environment looks like. You are providing me with that through your writing here.