I agree in principle. But you’re assuming here that a politely-worded email will elicit a more positive response for you than an angry one. That, perhaps even by definition, is not the case in toxic workplaces. My career would have been far better off had I sent more angry emails, rather than been polite and courteous to people who could simply then get away with ignoring me.
The advice you give, I’m very sorry to say after trying it for years, helps the bully, not the victim.
One great example of this that I cite in my book is former NYT executive editor Dean Baquet. He didn’t send polite emails when things didn’t go his way (in what is known to be a super toxic work environment). He punched the walls. It worked for him and his career was as successful as one can get. (He has spoken publicly about this.)
Girish, thank you for this very considered feedback; you raise some excellent points/questions. Let me have a further think and see if I can bring some more nuance to the "angry email" discussion! you are right: there may well be a place for healthy anger at times (though I am thinking now of what an NYT reporter once advises me in Afghanistan in relation to toxic workplaces: "Make love by email, make war by phone." More soon!
I agree in principle. But you’re assuming here that a politely-worded email will elicit a more positive response for you than an angry one. That, perhaps even by definition, is not the case in toxic workplaces. My career would have been far better off had I sent more angry emails, rather than been polite and courteous to people who could simply then get away with ignoring me.
The advice you give, I’m very sorry to say after trying it for years, helps the bully, not the victim.
One great example of this that I cite in my book is former NYT executive editor Dean Baquet. He didn’t send polite emails when things didn’t go his way (in what is known to be a super toxic work environment). He punched the walls. It worked for him and his career was as successful as one can get. (He has spoken publicly about this.)
Girish, thank you for this very considered feedback; you raise some excellent points/questions. Let me have a further think and see if I can bring some more nuance to the "angry email" discussion! you are right: there may well be a place for healthy anger at times (though I am thinking now of what an NYT reporter once advises me in Afghanistan in relation to toxic workplaces: "Make love by email, make war by phone." More soon!
Great line. Thank you!