What to Write in Your 'Trigger Diary'

A practice that turns your toxic workplace into a dojo.

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I write Toxic Workplace Survival Guy because toxic workplaces make me angry. I want to help as many people as possible do as I did: survive long enough to emerge with my mental health, dignity and career intact, on my own terms. A big thank-you to all those who’ve become paid subscribers.

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Survival Tool #10: Keep a ‘Trigger Diary’

Toxic Workplace Survival Guy only recommends practices he’s tried and tested himself.

And one practice I love is the ‘Trigger Diary.’¹

Here’s how it works:

You carry a notebook around, and every time you get triggered by something you jot down a few sentences to record:

• What triggered you (what somebody said or did)

• How you felt in your body (knotted stomach, clenched jaw, rush of adrenaline, or similar)

• The emotion you experienced (anger, fear, shame, sadness, disgust)

• What happened next? (Were you able to step back and let your system calm down, or did you react from your triggered state?)

Don’t go into massive depth.

The important thing is the act of reflection, and committing a few words to paper. (And I do mean paper: In my experience, this works much better with a real diary, so resist the temptation to make notes on a phone or computer).

What’s the Point of Doing This?

Your Toxic Workplace can kill you (at least spiritually speaking).

Or it can make you stronger.

It can be your dungeon.

Or it can become your dojo.

Your gladiator training camp.

Your labyrinth.

Your initiatory ordeal. (Survival Tool#7: Reframe Your Predicament).

Whatever metaphor you care to use, you can reclaim your power in a toxic workplace by approaching it as a practice ground for self-mastery.

And that starts by looking deeper into yourself.

In a toxic workplace, we can get very caught up in what’s wrong with our toxic colleagues, why their behaviour is harming us, and how awful they’re making us feel. (Survival Tool #8: See Through the Confusion).

This is a natural and normal part of the process of recognising you’re stuck (for now) in a toxic workplace. It’s important to recognise the harm you’re suffering, and how toxic behaviours are playing out around you. Acknowledging the fact that your workplace is toxic is the first step towards claiming your freedom. (Survival Tool#1: Admit Your Workplace is Toxic).

But if we’re going to find a path through the toxic workplace with dignity, clarity, resourcefulness and skill, we must also look deeper into ourselves.